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Your Foot Fetish, My Confusion
What is it with dudes and feet? I’m serious right now. What is it?
Every couple weeks as a sashay bout in my stilettos some guy compliments me on my shoes. If we end up going out, at some point he says something to the likes of, let me see your feet.
Huh?
In fact, a couple of times I have had guys compliment me on my sexy shoes and then make mention that I probably have nice feet.
Once again, what???
Does that even sound right? How do men think women’s feet get messed up in the first place?
Let me say in no uncertain terms, my feet are not cute. Since 2002, I have been wearing stilettos or some sort of high-heel on a daily basis. My feet have been rubbed to the death top front bottom and side to side. I don’t have Boomerang Lela Rochon feet, but still my tootsies are nothing to brag about or take pictures of…unless you are a photographer for Wheredeydodatat.net.
I keep my pedicures up, keep my toes painted, and feet moisturized. Still, MY FEET ARE NOT CUTE. My pedicurist (is that a word?) at Nusta spa in downtown dc gives me pedicures that temporarily make it look like I got a foot transplant. But until such a day that a foot transplant is invented, MY FEET WILL REMAIN UNCUTE. Plus, why would I bother getting a foot transplant only to, once again, insert my new more admirable feet into stiletto L.A.M.Bs?
( L.A.M.B.'s black Rasta boot photo courtesy of intheircloset.com)
Men, please use the comment box to explain your obsession with feet. Last time I checked not that many of you were into toe sucking and not that many of you are giving regular romantic footrubs…so what does it matter what our feet look like as long as we keep them moisturized so they don’t make minced meat out of your leg in the bed?
I used to have really pretty feet, before stilettos. I noticed my feet gradually becoming uncuter and uncuter as time went on but I didn’t care. My shoes are glorious and they make me feel sexy. And it’s not like my toes are jumbled up or deformed or bunioned (is that a word?) So…I just rolled, and still roll, with my stiletto lifestyle.
Honestly, I would compare having pretty feet to long hair–nice in theory but simply not practical for me. When I was growing up people raved about my hair. When I was in elementary school my mom let my hair grow half way down my back. She used to braid it really tight. She finally let me wear my hair out for picture day. My hair was so long and thick it got stuck in the cracks in my desk in class, then later, it got tangled in my book bag when I tried to take it off on the bus.
When Monica, the singer came out, I wanted to be like her so I cut my hair really short. People who barely knew me were upset as though I’d snuck into their houses in the middle of the night and chopped off their springy ash blonde curls rather than my own.
After a few years I got nostalgic and decided to let my hair grow midway my back again. Everything was fine and good until I arrived at the hair salon and found out there would be a $15 extra charge even though she didn’t quite know what to do with it. Not to mention my hair is so curly even a relaxer won’t keep it straight. Now, I only wear my real hair when I feel like letting my inner Kelis circa 1999 out, and even still I rarely let it grow past my shoulders.
The lovely Alicia Keys - who probably rarely has to style her own hair
See I have learned that having long hair isn’t not going to get me anywhere in life, and neither is having pretty feet. I figured stilettos would get me further in life than pretty feet, jury’s still out on that; however I am POSITIVE that no one is going to give me a job, a man, a house, 3 boys and a girl, or my ultimate fantasy, a Range Rover, because I have flawless feet… unless I apply at one of those foot fetish web sites. Men, if I’m wrong, please let me know how soon I could have expected my Range to arrive after us meeting if I would have showed you something pretty when I took off my Bronx leather thigh-high stilettos instead of the homely footies I display when I eventually go barefoot in front of you.
While I have you here, men should know that if a woman says she wears high-heels, in particular, stilettos DAILY and you look at her feet and they are beautiful she is lying. She may wear stilettos going out, she may wear heels around the office but she damn sure doesn’t wear them on the train or from her car to the job or to the grocery store or to the mall. You can’t have it both ways. And no 3” platforms are not stilettos, if you think they are, I got a shoe closet that will bring tears to your eyes. Fellas (and lesbians), if you like your woman in heels rather than sneakers, please understand that a flawed foot is your friend.
Where is He? Where is She? WHERE ARE THEY?
Singled-Out has finally launched. I’m so happy. I want to thank everyone who has followed up with me asking me when the site will be up and telling me they can’t wait to read my posts.
There’s no way I can convey my gratitude. Writing and socializing are two of my favorite things to do, and having people express a desire to read my writing and discuss it with me and others is the ultimate compliment. I take it very seriously.
Since this is a site dedicated to the Single Life, it’s only appropriate that I tell you where you can actually find your potential future ex-wife or husband…I know you’re dying to know. Well, I can’t tell you him or her’s exact location but I did find this handy map that tells us in certain terms where the single folks are.
Right now I am trying to put together a successful plan to move out to Los Angeles for reasons related and unrelated to my perrenially single status…judging by the map, I might be headed in the right direction!
To summarize the map, single men are more plentiful further west with high numbers in North and South California and solid numbers in places like Nevada and Arizona and a few other less populated west and mid-western states. On the flip side, there’s a bounty of single females in Eastern States in particular upper East Coast corridor from DC to NY. I must say I was a little surprised at the numbers in the Southern States. I always thought had I remained in the South I probably would have been married by now. Since this map doesn’t have a lot of economic or racial context, I guess we will have to have fun speculating about the trends to which it might allude.
Single Map - Published February 2007 in National Geographic Mag
The map was published by National Geographic in February 2007 and its based on information contained in the 2000 Census. If you know me, you know that I am ANXIOUSLY awaiting the 2010 Census to see how/if numbers and locations of single people have changed in the United States and how much. And, of course, I can’t wait to blog about it! You can view the 2005 census by visiting www.census.gov. For all my stat-minded folk, I welcome your assessments.
Looking at the map, are there any surprises? Any guesses on how this breaks down by race or even economic status?