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I believe that black women are not angry that black men choose to date women of other races. I believe that black women are jealous of the fact that black men have more freedom than they do to make such a choice.

When black females snipe about interracial dating it’s usually because traditionally black men have BLAMED black women for their DECISION to date interracially. And, most importantly, because men of other races don’t pursue black females like white and other women want pursue black males.

Basically black females have displaced jealousy that comes across as anger.  If Roco, Matt, Juan, Giovanni, Kamir, and Biff were dating pursuing black women in HEAVY numbers you wouldn’t hear a PEEP out of black women when it comes to black men dating outside the race. Black girls wouldn’t have time to comment, they’d be too busy sampling all the tasty flavors.

But alas that is not the case. Black men in America are held up as the standard of masculinity. Everybody wants to give people dap and listen to Jay-z cause the cool black guys around the corner are doing it. Unfortunately, black women aren’t held up as the standard of femininity. It is very difficult for black women to overcome the personality stereotypes.

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There are plenty of relationships in which women bring the chocolate to the party, check this post over at balleralert.com for a taste. But the fact remains that those “other” men are not approaching or as interested in black women as their women are in black men.

In other words, it’s not fair!

Back men contribute to this problem by picking up the degrading language in rap songs and speaking as though they are living a similar lifestyle. I can forgive many rap stars for their words because they actually live the life they are talking about. They actually are approached frequently by promiscuous females. They actually are aggressively pursued by girls who want them just because of their fame or money.

But most men aren’t dealing with these types of women.

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Yet too many black men speak as though they live the lifestyle of some famous rapper or well-known professional athlete. Too often I hear men with no gold complaining about gold diggers. Men with no group criticizing groupies! Men who are in need of sex calling women whores. I often wonder what they even know about it??

The answer is NOTHING.

Nevertheless, when black women see a black man with a woman who isn’t black, they should train themselves not to care.  That includes when you view a blog on Terrell Owens or any other eligible celebrity black bachelor and his latest non-black conquest. Keep your comment to yourself. You will feel better and be better for it. Not all black men who date interracially believe negative things about black women, and if they do, that’s an issue for them to figure out, not one for you to point out. Chalk it up to a loss. On the other hand, black men must stop putting black women down to defend their choice to date interracially. The truth is it’s not headscarves, values, morals, or attitudes that make black men date outside their race. It’s simply a personal choice that doesn’t require defending.

Finally, black women should aggressively explore other races of men as potential mates to assist in ridding themselves of that “All the black men are gay, taken, or dating women of other races” feeling. I recommend the, “if you can’t beat’em, join’em” approach.  Try happy hour with the white people. Do brunch at the Asian fusion restaurant. Show these South Asian men how sweet and nice you are. Check the “race doesn’t matter” box on your Eharmony profile.

Everyone should know that black women are approachable, generous, and know how to work with their men and support them so they can reach their dreams, just like any other race of women. Remember when the First Lady was first introduced to the public? Certain groups of Americans were determined to paint her as an angry person. She refused to let it stick, so should you.

Anyone who says the numbers of marriageable black men in this country aren’t low is a damn uneducated fool.  However, a black woman’s power to increase the odds of her getting married and bearing children within a marriage is in her own hands. Though it may require thinking outside of the box…or at least checking a different one.